Quotes of the day: The Simpsons

Well, the much-hyped movie from The Simpsons opens on Friday. In recognition of that, here are some quotes from the television series. More quotes can be found at TheSimpsonsQuotes.com.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals...except the weasel.

Homer (lecturing Bart when he was caught stealing): How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. (Makes sound effects and giggles) Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze.

Homer (drunk): Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Mr. Burns: I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

Troy McClure: Hi. I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such self help tapes as 'Smoke yourself thin' and 'Get some confidence, Stupid!'

Homer: If The Flintstones has taught us anything, it' that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. 6 feet tall, 300 pounds....it makes ice.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."