Keeping it together

In the immediate aftermath of the election earlier this month, the public’s reaction was something to behold. Obviously, people were going to be excited or disappointed based upon the candidate for which they voted.

I witnessed a lot of regrettable behavior that only validates how polarized we are as a country. I know the stakes are high in a presidential election, and in a sense, it is good that people feel so deeply about it because it shows they care. In recent years, there has been much discussion about voter apathy, so all this emotion can be considered good in that respect.

However, some behavior I witnessed clearly crossed the line. Much of the poor behavior was witnessed through social media like Twitter and Facebook. As good as those resources are, they can be used for bad, and this badness was there for all to see on election night.

Social media can bring out the bad in us if we let it. After all, it is a lot easier to insult somebody if we are not doing it to his face. It’s true that these resources do require a name be put with comments made, but many people definitely let the expletives fly when they do not have to worry about a person in front of them.

People on both sides of the spectrum were in rare form. Some who voted for Romney bemoaned that the president's re-election marked the beginning of the end of America as a super power. Some attempted to tie Obama’s selection to the end times in Biblical prophecy in which world power would be shifted back to the Middle East. It's clear that some of these people view Obama as something more than a man who just wants to serve his country (and not in a good way).

On the other side, some of the president’s supporters reduced Romney to just another rich white guy, but did it in profane ways. His family and religion were attacked in very narrow-minded ways. Like Obama, I believe Romney was a man who just wanted to serve his country, but people had plenty of venom for him, too.

I know a lot of these things were said during the campaign, but the vitriol, profanity and anger were taken to another level on election night. I have refrained from using direct quotes from people to back up my points. However, just a little time spent researching on-line backs up my point.

The obvious question is:  Where do we go from here? This behavior clearly shows our country’s polarization remains deeply entrenched. Our leaders made good faith comments about wanting to work together, but we have heard that all before. We heard the same thing after the 2008 election, and how far did that go?  Not far because the same problem was worse four years later.

We are all going to continue to disagree with each other. However, if the power of our disagreements continues to intensify, we may reach a point of not turning back. Our unity may erode in a substantial way, and our country may become as fragmented as Europe. This possibility keeps me awake at night.

I don't want to believe that can happen, but a lot has changed in my short life. Life has become much more of a blood sport where humility and graciousness have taken a back seat to winning at all costs.

It is tainting our political discourse, and it is wearing moderates like me out. Moderates are usually the ones left to clean up the messes of extremists.  If we vacate the arena of debate, our country may eventually hit rock bottom.

Social media frustrates as well as enlightens

During the last decade or so, there can be no debating the impact of social media. Platforms like Facebook and Twitter have given us the ability to reach out to each other in ways that were not even imagined a generation ago.

While I am sure there can be a debate as to whether this is totally a good thing, it does provide us the opportunity. If I want to tell people that I had a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch, then theoretically I can let hundreds of my friends know that within seconds of it happening.

Though Facebook and Twitter are the hottest forms of social media right now, it manifests itself in many ways. These ways can include just about any forum that allows people to share information.  Any web site with a message board can host comments from people around the globe, and it allows people to cross paths that might not otherwise meet.

Personally, I do not use Twitter. I am sure it has merit, but it lacks appeal. Since I have a tendency to latch on to fads just as they are winding down, I may use it at some point after everybody has already moved on to the next big thing.

I do use Facebook. For the most part, it is an effective way to communicate to the people in my orbit. It has also provided me the opportunity to reconnect with people I had not spoken to in years. What could be wrong with that?

However, like most communication tools, Facebook has become a reservoir for misinformation and outright ignorance in some cases.

Do not get me wrong: I am grateful for the first amendment, and Facebook certainly is a great tool for free speech. The problem is that information that is presented on Facebook by many as fact often is way off base when it comes to accuracy.

In some respects, Facebook can be one big gossip chain where one person presents some incorrect information. Then, another person takes that incorrect information and passes it on to somebody else. And then the process repeats itself thousands of times until a whole lot of people get a whole lot of bad information.

This can happen on any topic. Politics can be the worst offender. I repeatedly see people present the positions of our elected officials incorrectly or taken out of context. This applies to people of both political parties. I know people mean well, but I wish we would be a little more careful about how we present the words of other people. It really is not too difficult to spend some time researching to see if what we are presenting is actually true or not.

Religion is another area. If I had a hundred dollars for every time I have seen people misrepresent what is in the Bible, I would be walking around with pockets stuffed with Benjamins. I do not claim to be a biblical scholar, but even a person of average intelligence like me can tell when somebody is completely off base. The internet is a notoriously difficult place to discuss religion (and politics, for that matter), and Facebook is another forum that demonstrates this.

I want to be clear that Facebook can be an effective forum for things like politics and religion. When Facebook is used responsibly, it can have a tremendous impact on people’s lives in a positive way.

Because of this, it is important to use the resource as responsibly as possible. The internet is the wild, wild west in many bad ways.

Let's not live down to the negative aspects of the internet. Let’s not abuse our freedom.

Always think before typing

We all face the struggle of controlling our emotions. Adversity enters our life, and before we realize it, we say something in the heat of the moment that does a lot of damage.

Of course, after we make this statement, the adversity we find ourselves in becomes worse. Instead of having to deal with the original problem, we must now deal with the impulsive statements we have made.

No one is immune from this. We have all experienced a moment where we were making a point, and as soon as we said it, we realize it was the wrong thing to say. If possible, we want to catch the words as they are leaving our mouths and stuff them back down our throats.

However, once those words have been spoken, it is too late. The damage has been done, and the clean-up must begin.

With the many different ways we communicate these days, the spoken word is not the only way we can get in trouble. Communication tools like Twitter and Facebook can get us all in trouble if we start sending out messages when we are mad.

Though spoken words can cause a lot of damage, the written word often carries more credibility and impact.

Though there are likely many reasons why this is the case, the primary reason is that people generally pause and give thought before writing a message to somebody.

Because people are supposed to have given that extra thought, it makes a deeper impression with people.

The big problem is when people do not think through what they are about to type and quickly send it out to the public.

Consider the recent plight of Steve Johnson who is a wide receiver with the Buffalo Bills in the National Football League.

In late November, he dropped what would have been a game-winning touchdown pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Bills have had a terrible season and defeating the Steelers would have been a huge upset. His dropped pass played a big role in his team's loss.

Here is what he wrote on Twitter in the aftermath in an outburst against God: "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS (IS) HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW??? I’LL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!! THX THO..."

This made national news, and the focus of the national media was quite intense on Johnson. He became the man who blamed God for his mistake.

While not condoning his comments, we have to be careful not to be too harsh toward him. As stated earlier in this column, we have all said something in the heat of the moment that we wish we could take back.

When we send out written messages for large groups to read, it is difficult to take them back when we have put a foot in our mouth. It always seems that more people read about the original mistake than the apology that comes after it.

We also see this occur on much smaller stages. On my Facebook account, more than once I have read comments made by friends when they were obviously frustrated or angry who then came back later to apologize for what they wrote.

Our thoughts are tough to control. We are all human, and we will occasionally make mistakes. We just need to be more careful about how we express ourselves when we are experiencing the bitter whirlwind of life.

As convenient as technological breakthroughs like Twitter and Facebook are, we have to be very careful how we use them.

As for Johnson, let us hope he learned from his mistake.

If nothing else, he taught us all a lesson that could save us problems somewhere down the road.

Facebook is watching

We live in a remarkable age when it comes to the technological breakthroughs we have seen. We can see how it impacts us every day if we will only take the time to stop and notice.

One of the most highly visible examples of this is the Internet and its ability to provide us with easy access to information and other people. This ability is breathtaking. E-mail, chat rooms, Twitter, and other forms of communication have revolutionized how we think, talk, and write.

Every couple of years a new breakthrough will appear and take the world by storm. An example of this a few years ago was Facebook. In general terms, Facebook is a social networking and information service that can allow a person to present a summary of their life on-line to anybody who is interested.

Recently, I joined the Facebook trend and signed up. I hope this is not bad news because I have a tendency to latch on to trends just as its popularity begins to decline. What does this mean? It means I hope it does not become obsolete by the time I finish writing this posting.

In the short time I have used Facebook, I have really enjoyed it. Perhaps the most surprising, if not shocking, aspect of it is how easily it can connect a person with other people on the site.

For example, after I finished signing up, one of the first things it presented me was a list of people I could reach out to and become their 'friend.' The list was vast and included hundreds of people I knew in my childhood and other segments of my life.

Initially, this excited me, but the extent to which Facebook knew my past began to unnerve me somewhat. When I signed up, I provided it with information about my life and agreed to certain terms and conditions. However, I never dreamed it could connect me so quickly with that many people.

I am not referring to people I have not talked to in a year or so. I am talking about people I have not seen or talked to in 25 years. Do not get me wrong; I have enjoyed learning about their lives, but access to this much information so fast made me a little paranoid.

How could Facebook know all this? After all, it linked me with people at my present employer, but I did not present it with any information about my current job. I am sure there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for this, but I am not a technical whiz so I can only wonder. It probably has something to do with my e-mail habits, but I am only guessing.

My generation grew up having to read the book Nineteen Eighty-four and fantasies about 'big brother' watching me filled my head as I reviewed the information Facebook provided. Still, after getting through my initial concerns, I have gotten more comfortable with the service.

The bottom line is that any service that allows people to reach out to each other can not be that bad. Technology is like any creation; it can be used for good or bad. However, I think this is a good example of how technology can help fill the gaps between us.

Some would argue that this type of technology is actually a cold way of keeping in contact. They would say that it lacks the warmth of hearing another person's voice.

Maybe. However, I believe that the written word often carries a lot more weight than the spoken word. After all, once a conversation ends, it is over. E-mails and on-line messages can be kept forever.